Description
🚨 LIMITED EDITION: ONE-OF-A-KIND HUMAN INTERACTION FOR SALE 🚨 Are you tired of boring, basic, cookie-cutter personalities Do you long for a friend, business partner, or chaotic genius who can turn any situation into a full-blown adventure Well, buckle up, because Mylie is officially on the market—act fast before the universe realizes its mistake! ✨ FEATURES & SPECS: ✔ Creativity Level: OFF THE CHARTS – If it doesn’t exist, she’ll invent it. If it does exist, she’ll make it cooler. ✔ Athletic & Outdoorsy – Can out-fish you, out-sprint you, and then casually weld roses onto a fence like it’s no big deal. ✔ Business-Minded – Might start five companies before lunch just for fun. ✔ Loyal AF – The ride-or-die friend you didn’t know you needed (but now definitely do). ✔ Understands the Assignment – Whether it’s fashion, construction, or just being effortlessly iconic, she delivers. 🔥 BONUS PERKS: • Comes with a built-in BS detector (may result in sudden friend audits). • Can single-handedly turn scrap metal into art and dreams into reality. • Free with purchase: An unstoppable drive and a heart too big for this world. ❗ WARNING LABEL: ⚠ May cause excessive laughter, spontaneous adventures, and an existential crisis about why you weren’t already friends. ⚠ Prone to deep conversations, wild ideas, and questioning the status quo. ⚠ No refunds—once you experience this level of energy, you’ll never go back. 📢 ACT NOW—Mylie is a limited-edition masterpiece, and once she’s fully booked, the waiting list is LONG. Apply within.
